WitCrumbs

Category: Stumble

  • Stayin Alive…..

    The Travel Operators For Tigers (TOFT) has announced that they will present “Lifetime Achievement Award” to two tigers, Machali from Ranthambhore and Sundar aka B2 from Bandhavgarh. <Link here>

    This immediately throws some questions:

    • Are there tigers left in Indian forests?
    • Why in the world would you name a tigress as Machali…. What the Fish…

    Whats more amusing is the basis of these awards:

    “Machali herself earns as much as a top cricketer or Bollywood actress, and it’s critical to recognise these extraordinary economic benefits that come from saving her species in the wild. She literally provides livelihoods for thousands of people from forest guards to wildlife guides, drivers to hoteliers!” says TOFT founder, Julian Matthews.

    I am amused by Mr Matthews comparison of Top Cricketer and Bollywood Actress. Is he inspired by Ms Shetty and Ms Zinta at the IPL in SA? BTW how much tax has she paid…Mr Chidu, are you listening????

    Amazingly, TOFT has calculated that Machali has earned nearly US$100 million (48000 crores) for the Economy since she became a dominant resident female in the Tourism zone of Ranthambhore in 1998 as well as bringing up 11 cubs


    The latter quality of bringing up 11 kids accentuates her chances of excelling in Politics….how about 1st female Finance Minister????

    Like all good stars she even has a Facebook page, has been seen by over 150000 visitors and millions on TV across the globe.

    This worries me to no end…as per my limited knowledge Facebook is a Social Networking Site…but I did not know, millions can view it on TV…yes TV….phewwww…

    ..now we have Sundar aka B2

    B2 has sired over 35 tigers, 90% of which lived to adulthood, The sizable majority of tigers living in Bandhavgarh today are his sons and daughters. B2 has been estimated to have earned US$30m over his 7 year reign

    You are the man..dude….you rock!!!!!

    I am wondering…why did these guys got a Lifetime Achievement Award…Simply because they Stayed Alive????

    Wonder and think….

  • Taliban Marriage Bureau-Beast meets the Priest for a Feast…

    Now-a-days Taliban in Pakistan is arranging love marriages <Link here>, this is in addition to their usual responsibility (read KRA) of having a blast or two a day…Wow…but to be eligible for it, the groom has to have a strong background. He should have needlessly killed atleast 20 people, should be expert in ramming bombs at every place around him in short…he should be one among the many F-ing talibs…ohh and well the bride should be any chic…no other criterion required….

    This is what in Management Parlance called “Forward Integration”, if no-one in this world is selling you oil, dig a bore yourself…and then sell it to the world.

    Well, technology is playing its part too….

    “The love marriage aspirants contact the bureau on a fixed telephone number. The Taliban collect their particulars and then contact their families to arrange these marriages”

    Amazing…All the marriage bureau across Pakistan (if there are any)…beware…you’ve got competition on home turf called Taliban Marriage Bureau (TMB)

    On a tangent, from what limited I’ve read and heard, the sheep and goat owners must be having pretty tough times….Afterall their only source of income and pleasure goes away from them, once a Talib lays his ‘love’ filled eyes on the pretty thing…. all courtsey TMB

  • Sunny Deol Bailed out

    At last Sunny Deol has been granted bail  after 12 years in a  case. The news report says that he was charged for “allegedly entering a platform without permission and pulling a train’s emergency chain during shooting of a film”

    Emergency chain… I mean You pull the chain and then the emergency brakes kick in….

    As per the complaint “when the train was about to leave the station, unit members pulled the emergency chain and the train had to wait for additional 25 minutes, affecting the service on the sector”

    Did you notice the delay…25 min..just 25 min…thats f-ing right time in IST….

    Hey by that logic, I have seen Sunny Deol movies all my life…and they have delayed my senses-affecting my nervous system, my digestive cycle, my understanding of physics, chemistry, biology, English and Hindi….

    Can I file a case on these grounds????

  • Name-Game:: Shame Shame!!!

    I’ had earlier blogged about weird names here…well seems I am not the only one amused by the strangeness in the way people like themselves to be called, or rather not called

    A recent study says:<Link here>

    • The number of people in Britain with surnames like Cockshott, Balls, Death and Shufflebottom has declined by up to 75 per cent in the last century.
    • Number of people with the name Cock shrank to 785 last year from 3,211 in 1881, those called Balls fell to 1,299 from 2,904 and the number of Deaths were reduced to 605 from 1,133

    So that means there are 785 Cocks and 1299 Balls… all at loose in Britain. Well shouldn’t the ratio be 1:2 …. some mathematical error I guess…

    Now I know why Football, Tennis and Cricket are much more popular in Britain compared to Badminton…Balls outnumber Cocks .. you see

  • My tryst with the Himalayas!!!!!!!!!

    Atop a 30 ft hill….1-2-3 and jump….the only thought that crossed my mind was….S H I TTTTT….what have I done….and the the next moment I was down into chilling currents of ganga…it gave a special high, considering I cant move my limbs to perform a specific action called swimming…..what followed was an awesome experience of white water rafting in fuming ganga….
    It all started with landing in Delhi to proceed to Mussorie via Dehradoon….next day we were packed into a crampy bus which took us to the base camp Sankari. This was the starting point of an exhilarating journey to the himalayas, for 7 days and 8 nights we were in the lap of nature…climbing steep mountains…ascending snow covered ridges and running down the hills…..walked more then I ever had in my entire life….
    Several times I wondered whether m pushing the envelope a lil too much…but all that pain and effort was worth for this journey of a lifetime…..
    Pics here