WitCrumbs

Category: Leisure

  • Scissor Hazards…snip snip snip…

    Man swallows nail scissors while using them as toothpick

    Kong Lin, 27, was cleaning his teeth with the four-inch scissors, when laughing at a joke caused him to accidentally swallow them.

    Ha ha ha ha ha..dude, get a life….

    Air India steward loses job for refusing to trim moustache

    An Air India steward was relieved from duties because he declined to trim his moustache even after receiving official warnings.

    Steward with high growth, serving food with a smile….awwww..thats too scary…

    Knives, scissors seized at airport

    A day before the terminal at New Delhi Airport opened for commercial operations, the security agency recovered 12 knives and some pairs of scissors from the food court that has been set up on the premises.

    Bravo…how did these items came in the premises in the first place???

    and finally

    How To Trim Your Moustache

    Some gems from this tutorial:

    • Moustache has been regarded as the symbol of masculinity by people, since ages.
    • While there are a number of ways to stylize a mustache, the basic step for trimming (to prevent it from looking rowdy) remains almost the same.    Rowdy…ha ha..
    • Instructions For Trimming – In order to trim your moustache, you need to sit in front of a full-length mirror.   I just want to trim my moustache..why full length mirror???? thats a suspense
      – Make sure to use the scissors conservatively, lest you end up harming yourself. In case you have a pencil-thin or handle-bar mustache, use the razor accordingly and make sure not to end up shaving off the top of the mustache accidentally.  Ahem…..precuations and all…..hmmm

  • Name-Game:: Shame Shame!!!

    I’ had earlier blogged about weird names here…well seems I am not the only one amused by the strangeness in the way people like themselves to be called, or rather not called

    A recent study says:<Link here>

    • The number of people in Britain with surnames like Cockshott, Balls, Death and Shufflebottom has declined by up to 75 per cent in the last century.
    • Number of people with the name Cock shrank to 785 last year from 3,211 in 1881, those called Balls fell to 1,299 from 2,904 and the number of Deaths were reduced to 605 from 1,133

    So that means there are 785 Cocks and 1299 Balls… all at loose in Britain. Well shouldn’t the ratio be 1:2 …. some mathematical error I guess…

    Now I know why Football, Tennis and Cricket are much more popular in Britain compared to Badminton…Balls outnumber Cocks .. you see

  • Michael-Masakkali

    Micheal Jackson has expressed desire to enter in his concerts in London, riding on an African elephant with panthers led on gold chains. Parrots and other birds will fly behind him, he will also perform role of ‘Masakkali’ on the Delhi-6 song… <Link here>

    I admit my-lord..I made up last line… but I was amazed that MJ can FLY….
    This is in addition to the other wonderful things that he can do …which are approximately 21 less than what Rajnikanth could do…

    a glimpse>> he can sweep the floor 360 dg. without moving 1 inch from his place, he can sit in a xerox machine yet the copy would be white…he can change his nose more times then I can bat my eyelids in 3 seconds (well I am mere mortal afterall)…and his ‘befriending attitude towards childern’ is known to one and all… Well ‘Michael in Wonderland’ is all I can say

  • Squabble in the household…

    I wonder what would have happened if there were no Celebrities in this Celestial System…what my dear journos would have done for living and breaking their bread…lemme take a guess…they would have been sleuths/detectives…

    A recent incident to prove their prowess happened in Pitt..err…Jolie..or .err.. Pitjolie [;)] household…
    Apparently Jolie slapped Pitt since he was massaging the nanny of their children….and poor nanny lost her job <Link here>
    Well nothing new in that…but what takes the cake is the ‘fness’ … all in details…

    “She got right in Brad’s face, screaming at the top of her lungs, and told the nanny to get out of her house and never come back. The argument woke up the sleeping twins, who began to cry.”

    I’ve some questions of mine:

    • Did the nanny had any notice period?
    • Did she serve it?
    • What was her package/ C2C? Was she paid any severance allowance?

    On a tangent…Saifeena are India’s answer to Brangelina, since they do not have twins yet,

    • Will they have twins?
    • Will the twins be sub-size zero?

    they might not have a nanny (atleast for Kareena..I assume), so they might have a maid…

    • Will Saif care to give massage to his maid?
    • If Kareena catches Saif in the act, will she scream at the top of her lungs?
    • Does Kareena have lungs?

    My info says Size Zero have 1 lung, 1 kidney, zero brains and…umm…well…no heart??

  • Kill..don’t foot the bill

    The Hon. Supreme Court has made a very intersting ruling ‘Killing another in self-defence is one’s right’.

    Well ‘fness’ emanates from the heading…and I celebrate it…….

    I’d been exercising this right since my kid-hood by killings mosquitoes, rats, cockroaches. With time I graduated to killing chicken and sea-fauna and goat and lamb and pork…well all done in self defense (ummm… lick…burrp…..).

    My lord, all these delicacies were ‘fidayeens’ out there…. and deep down my heart, I have this satisfaction of saving human race….A super-human is born (who wears underpants, under pants)

  • Filmfare & not-so-lovely

    Yesterday the much coveted Filmfare awards were televised and the who’s who of Bollywood were present to revel with the fraternity,.
    However much they deny, but the effect of recession was evident. On every performance, Ms. Zinta would do WoW…whats new in that..right and how is it related to recession?? well on 3rd or 4th instance you’ll spot it. Its the same shot aired after every performance…well Ms Zinta wasn’t alone… ever-so-young Rekha, giggle-machine Ash and big-B.. all were caught in one-expression-shot…

    Of all, the young Lucky from OLLO put the best thank-you speeches of all time to shame with a piece of his…brilliant I say…

    Did we miss Amarsingh…seems he ws busy in giving away ‘awards’ of his own…after all the great indian tamasha is round the corner….

  • Naam me kya kya rakha hai….

    “I thought it was a joke because somebody was saying that why will anybody want to hurt a cricketer,” said the Sri Lankan pacer Vaas’ wife, Vasana. (Link here)

    No dirt/malice intended 😉 , but I luv the names of these Srilankan Cricketers (he..he..he)…and better still, name of their better halves… I am making a logical guess, what if a lady, her name is Purush calls and wants to talk to her husband…..Will the lanka skipper answer it ???

    well as always…I wonder….

  • Great going Judge-saheb

    Court in Sonept (my guess…its in Haryana) has directed the Cops to return the bribe with 9% interest… (Link here)
    Story has it that the man was threatened with 3rd degree torture, and to escape-he paid up 30k bucks to the Cops, but look at the silliness of cops, they still inflicted “3rd degree” on him…

    of the two accused cops Rao and Rai…rao is dead and rai has retired…so now there would be complications…
    Maje lete time to dono ne liye the..but ab ticket fata to ek ke naam pe…

  • Update-Case Files: Adnan vs Sabah

    Latest update on the Great war: Adnan and wife Sabah are battling it out in court for custody of ‘Rock’….in case you don’t yet know…Rock is a Labrador..a dog….ek kutte ke liye itna jhagda…..he he he…I would say…Adnan-Sabah, u guys ‘Rock’…..

  • Caught without Ticket

    Of all other charges, Kasab the bugger has also been charged of being without ticket at CST… (Link here)

    I wonder…during the Kandhar hijack drama, did the politicos buy tickets for the buggers they carried along and handed over them to the talib-f***rs…
    If not, shouldn’t they be booked under flying without tickets or boarding passes or whatever….