WitCrumbs

Category: Cricket

  • Stayin Alive…..

    The Travel Operators For Tigers (TOFT) has announced that they will present “Lifetime Achievement Award” to two tigers, Machali from Ranthambhore and Sundar aka B2 from Bandhavgarh. <Link here>

    This immediately throws some questions:

    • Are there tigers left in Indian forests?
    • Why in the world would you name a tigress as Machali…. What the Fish…

    Whats more amusing is the basis of these awards:

    “Machali herself earns as much as a top cricketer or Bollywood actress, and it’s critical to recognise these extraordinary economic benefits that come from saving her species in the wild. She literally provides livelihoods for thousands of people from forest guards to wildlife guides, drivers to hoteliers!” says TOFT founder, Julian Matthews.

    I am amused by Mr Matthews comparison of Top Cricketer and Bollywood Actress. Is he inspired by Ms Shetty and Ms Zinta at the IPL in SA? BTW how much tax has she paid…Mr Chidu, are you listening????

    Amazingly, TOFT has calculated that Machali has earned nearly US$100 million (48000 crores) for the Economy since she became a dominant resident female in the Tourism zone of Ranthambhore in 1998 as well as bringing up 11 cubs


    The latter quality of bringing up 11 kids accentuates her chances of excelling in Politics….how about 1st female Finance Minister????

    Like all good stars she even has a Facebook page, has been seen by over 150000 visitors and millions on TV across the globe.

    This worries me to no end…as per my limited knowledge Facebook is a Social Networking Site…but I did not know, millions can view it on TV…yes TV….phewwww…

    ..now we have Sundar aka B2

    B2 has sired over 35 tigers, 90% of which lived to adulthood, The sizable majority of tigers living in Bandhavgarh today are his sons and daughters. B2 has been estimated to have earned US$30m over his 7 year reign

    You are the man..dude….you rock!!!!!

    I am wondering…why did these guys got a Lifetime Achievement Award…Simply because they Stayed Alive????

    Wonder and think….

  • Harbhajan Singh, sold….

    Harbhajan Singh has sold the rights to his name…<Link here>

    Going  ahead, the firm could merchandise the name “Harbhajan” in various fields and sectors.

    I question:

    • Will Dhoni have to pay royalty every time he says “Well bowled Bhajji”?
    • How about the dim-witted commentators…all their remuneration will be spent on just talking about him, 6 times an over.
    • Will Patiala Peg change its name to Bhajji Peg?
    • My favorite News Channels would have their hairs turning Grey at this news…What will  they now call their over-the-top drama programs on Turbanator, hosted by the 12th-man cricketer-retired-turned-cricket expert???

    If the merchandising plan takes off and they really start having products by his name…I shudder at the thoughts of

    Bhajji brand Chaddi, Harbhajan beedi, Lets have a Bhajji pint, Tandoori Harbhajan, Harbhajan Readymade Stores and Cut-piece Centre, Bhajji Volvo…….Harbhajan hair cutting Saloon (with all apologies)……

  • Pyjama Test

    pyjama-cricket-1Not a skill test of how fast you can get into or out of your pyjamas, but playing Test cricket in pyjamas…that’s really something <Link here> and that too at night under floodlights….

    ECB is considering arranging a test match between England and Bangladesh…no wonder its called Pyjama Test…its B’desh folks….so if the test gets over in 2-3 days, which is B’desh’ forte, would they call it a “Brief” test???

    Ohh man…I would love to see this concept taken forward to women cricket….Imagine looking at 13 missies sweating it out…..in nighties…would be a TRUE TEST for cricketinados like me….

    I wanna be the Ump for that game 😉

    (image credit: flickr)

  • Captain Dada

    Outsourcing of IPL has resulted in African fever to a few people associated with it.
    The most recent victim seems to be Kolkata Knight Riders, Ke-Ke-Aar as they are called.
    They have decided that there would be a new captain for each game. <Link here>
    This has refreshed my childhood memories of street-cricket…where even my friend’s gardener was named as Captain cuz he used to watch our game…

    I wonder..well after quite some time now that I too want to captain KKR. After all Dada does not seem to have any problem with it…and his “goal is to score runs and take wickets”.
    Well can he “run and score goals and wick* tickets in SA???”

    *for the uninitiated, wick=Sell in Marathi

  • 1..2..3…Sold

    Mr. … err Dr. Vijay Mallya seems to be in bidding mood..from IPL to Gandhi’s items…he’s buying it all. I wonder (as always) that the spectacles, a 1910 silver Zenith pocket watch, sandals, a golden bowl and thali could work wonders for Mallya in IPL season2!!!

    • Dravid can use the specs to spot the ball and preserve his timber.
    • A reputed bowling coach in ‘Golden-Bowl’.
    • Pocket watch could be for Uncle Sunil Joshi…the time’s up dude..
    • Sandal..well….if nothing of the above works….

    And if they still manage to achieve the ‘coveted wooden spoon’ then they’ve got the thali…

  • Naam me kya kya rakha hai….

    “I thought it was a joke because somebody was saying that why will anybody want to hurt a cricketer,” said the Sri Lankan pacer Vaas’ wife, Vasana. (Link here)

    No dirt/malice intended 😉 , but I luv the names of these Srilankan Cricketers (he..he..he)…and better still, name of their better halves… I am making a logical guess, what if a lady, her name is Purush calls and wants to talk to her husband…..Will the lanka skipper answer it ???

    well as always…I wonder….